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Monday, January 26, 2009

Claire's 5 Stages of Techno Grief

Friday, Jan 23: Claire arrives home from work, only to notice - NO cell phone! Where EFF is it? Claire freaks. Decides must have left the thing at office. No biggie. <----DENIAL

Saturday Jan 24: Drives all the way downtown to office. Ignore security guard and get onto elevator, up to 10th floor and my desk. NO CELL PHONE! <--- ANGER

Sunday, Jan 25: Claire fretting, as well as packing bags for work trip to L.A., flight leaving at 2:10PM.

Barbara Via email offers the obvious suggestion that Claire was to freaked to think of: email phone company OR get ready to shell out $100,000 for phone calls to Istanbul.

Claire cancels cell service. Is upset. Wants blankie & bottle (a good '49 merlot) <----GRIEF

Claire flies to Los Angeles. Picks up rental car. Finds hotel, an Omni; a HUMONGOUS hotel. In room Claire is mesmerized by key locked, in-room snack bar containing food, only affordable if Obama names Claire as U.S. ambassador to Japan. Claire chews her own limbs rather than spend $4.75 on .o24 oz of gourmet gum drops.

The sun sets. Claire decides to listen to some podcasts. NO iPOD! (Repeat previous 3 stages of Grief, i.e., Denial, Anger, etc.). Last place iPod was relished was at Sacto Airport. Claire concludes, gods are livid & her electronic toys are being brutally taken from her.

Claire, tucked in HUMONGOUS Omni bed. Promises to stop pissing on gods lesser electronics if only errant techno toys return.<---- BARGAINING

As Claire mopes, here is nighttime scene from hotel room window.

Night view of Walt Disney Concert Hall

Fancy Shmancy restaurant below

Next morning. Bright and early Claire arises to mope while looking at daytime view out of window. Claire concludes, 'Oh well! Who needs a cell phone anyway. And now that the iPod turned up missing to, maybe I'll just go ahead and get that iPhone I've been wanting. <--ACCEPTANCE

Sun is up on the Disney Concert Hall
Museum of Contemporary Art is in the foreground

Fancy Shmancy restaurant by daylight

Time to go to work! Claire goes to court with Lawyer. Defendant is a no-show. Whole court scene is intimate - only the judge, a court reporter, the lawyer and Claire. Claire takes the witness stand and manages to give testimony with no outrageous mistakes or flubs. The gods, for now, are pleased.

Case over quickly and Claire is back at hotel checking out by 11:00. She gets rental car back. What is on the floor of the car, sticking out its virtual tongue? iPOD! Joy of joys, what was lost is now found. Now where the eff is the damned cell phone?Oh well. For now the ancient gods of techno geeks are pleased.

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