Never Thought I'd Ever Have Cause to Bribe Guards

Silent lobby - still white marble

no noise above a hush

two guards at desk gaze into the silence

Unannounced - unbidden - unexpected Crescendo!

Loud, clear, echoing through the air

the men look up in surprised awe

the last haunting echo trembles against the cold walls

Yeah, that was some damned BIG old fart I let out in the lobby today. No warning, it just leapt to the open air like a giant raspberry. Fecking hell. See why I say my life is a sitcom? Do you see that now???? Damn it.

I mean, I have not farted in public like that since Junior High classroom incident which sort of set the pace for the rest of my life and explains why I'm such a hermit. I mean, that lobby of my office building is usually alive with dozens of people noisily bustling about, engulfed in conversation with their peers, headed out of the building or into one of the three elevator hubs. But the one freakin' day I... pass gas... it was so bloody quiet you could have heard a dwarf mouse peeing on cotton at 100 paces. Bugger. BUGGER. BUGGER ALL!

Stupid lobby. Stupid guards. Stupid, stupid intestinal tract!

I was racing out the building to go to a docents meeting tonight at the State Indian Meeting. The lot of us made plans for Acorn Day in October which is usually loads of fun when we all pitch in together.

In other news, on Saturday I ushered for Hello Dolly! at the Music Circus. I've only ever seen the movie version featuring the divine Ms. Streisand, so it was a special treat for me to see the stage production. I loved it from the lively actors to the spectacular turn of the century costumes. Plus, there was near to a full house for the performance which was attended by 1,900 souls - in a crowd like that anyone could have farted merrily away with impunity guar-an-teed.

Missed the first two plays of the Music Circus season (don't ask) but should catch the last few. Last night I saw Annie - the musical based on the comic strip. I'd say it was an ancient strip, but I remember it from my childhood so I'll shut-the-eff-up. The most memorable thing about Annie was I seldom see so many little girls all in one place. Everyone and their mother brought along their ensie daughters, nieces, friend's daughters, & any other creature in mary-janes and a frilly dress they could get stuff into a car. On the other hand, little boys however were in very short supply; don't think I saw two all evening.

Great little play, it was nicely performed and the lead kid, Annie had a tremendous voice. One of the other ushers suggested the young actress was actually a 45 year old torch singer stuffed into a kid's suit costume. For me the main thing about Annie the musical is - no surprise here - the music. My favorite is the tough Hard Knock Life, and the runner-ups being Something was Missing and Maybe, both of which get me all misty. Oh, and mustn't forget Sandy the dog (a male dog). Sandy was played by a big old bitch mutt named Lola. With a name like that, old Lola was bound to end up on the stage.

National Night Out for the Shut In

I traveled far from home tonight - all the way across the street to a National Night Out barbeque. All the neighbors were there, kids, dogs, the lot.

I usually scurry in and out of my house through the garage like a light phobic mouse. So I imagine with all the chattering I did, there were probably several people at the barbeque tonight who may have thought I was channeling Whoopie Goldberg - I mean, I could not shut my mouth for more than a few seconds at a stretch. Oh well. Perhaps after 15 years in my house I am finally comfy enough with to chat with the people in my neighborhood.

The weather tonight was pleasant - cool and slightly breezy. No, I am not hallucinating. It is still AUGUST here in the Central valley. Last Saturday it was 100 plus degrees, the following day the
thermometer plummeted 27 degrees into the seventies and there it remains. Pinch me - I must be dreaming.

On to a new topic - ok, not that new. I have decided since I still have loads of pictures and stuff I want to post from last May's vacation I may as well post it, but will do so whenever I danged well feel like it - which is how post to this blog anyway. I decided to post under the not-especially-original title: Tales of the North Woods, which will be my own birdie version of a Prairie Home Companion. I think two, maybe three more vacations posts should do the trick. Anyone tired of my tales is #$&% out of luck.

This Barn Owl has nothing to do with this post other than I took its pic on Monday morning at the Fazio Wildlife Refuge and want to show it off,.. And heck, what's a Post without a Pic?