I bitched about having no knee, tilI met a lady with no thigh

Tonight I was on the light-rail, and was just about to disembark, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw a very nice looking, well dressed gentleman. In a sudden fit of womanly pride, I decided "I don't need to hold on to any stinking banister!" So, without doing what I normally do - cling to the banister and lower myself out of the damned train, much in the same manner as the Sir Edmund Hillary ascending Mount Everest. I'm not exaggerating here - mountain sheep have broken their necks climbing down out of the light rail train. Really sad too - the ones left behind bleat for days.

Where was I? Right - no hand rails for an agile, nubile, young thing like moi! Results? I plunged down the stairs, landed my foot and practically dislocated my left knee - OUCH.

I yelped. The nice looking, well dressed gentleman had also come off the tram. He saw me grimmacing in pain and said, 'Don't you hate when that happens?' He then smiled and purposefully strode off to his car, leaving me standing there, afraid to put any weight on my left knee - #$&% gentleman.

Long story short, I crept back to my car, saying every word of my increasingly extensive of swear word collection. I hate it when my primitive, girly brain stem clicks on, causing me to do STUPID things to prove my I am a limber, young thing and don't we all know that ceased to be true about 20 years ago - Ok, 25 years ago. Oh shut UP.

Anyway, when I managed to get home I was totally chock full of self pity. Me - single, alone in my ikle house, hobbling about trying to take off my shoes and bring in the mail - pathetic. I wound up sitting on the couch, bemoaning my lost youth. The phone rang.

It was my friend Diane from Yakima Washington. On the way to the bus stop two days earlier, she slipped on ice, that was buried under a layer of new-fallen snow. She couldn't stand so she pulled herself up onto a snow drift and waved down a passing car, the driver of which phoned for an ambulance.

Diane was calling me from a recovery ward of a hospital. She had broken her femur (the thigh bone), had to have the bone operated on. It was such a bad break she had taken EIGHT PINTS of blood! Our bodies only hold ten pints of blood! I was horrified - I mean, she'd bled internally and had she fallen where no one passed, she could have gone into shock or she could have bled to death. Anyway, bottom line, here I was, brooded over my sprained knee, only to hear about Diane's temporary debilitation and hospitalization.

Knee problems? Me? Uh...no, not really.

UPDATE: Diane is doing well. She had 60 stitches from the operation and will be at the rehab facility recovering and having physical therapy for six to eight weeks! She said she decided she is NOT in rehab, but is instead at a really cool spa. I had a glass of wine tonight and toasted Di's 60 stitches and her spunk. Way to go Diane! *slurp*

A Night Out with the OTHER Girls

Last night, I dragged my friend Jeannie off to see the musical La Cage Au Folles at the Davis Musical Theater Company.

No - let me make this perfectly clear - last night I dragged a kicking and screaming, culture resistant, potentially 'ex' friend Jeannie, to see a musical.

Despite her efforts to maintain a stoic mind set and gloomy disapproval, the girl actually enjoyed the musical! True, she grumbled that I had dragged her off to what she called a 'he-she' spectacular, but still, she laughed and even managed a bit of applauded now and again - that is, when she couldn't retrain herself. Jeannie normally only enjoys movies, and only those in which things blow up and people get shot.

Anyway, after the play I was surprised to find out Jeannie had not only never been to a musical, but she had never been to ANY type of play - eh-vah! Not even one of her two kids, dressed up as a dancing carrot in a kindergarten play. What is our culture coming to?

I've decided the next time Lion King comes to town her entire family is going. Honestly, I figure if Jeannie enjoyed such a low key, non-professional performance, she'd likely really enjoy one of the splashier Music Circus or Convention Center productions - especially a guaranteed crowd pleaser like Lion King. Hum... who knows, maybe someday I'll drag her arse off to see Les Miserable! Dare I dream?

Bad Egg Juju

Bugger. I swear - every time I decide it's time to clean up and declutter, the exact opposite happens. Stuff leaps out of drawers and closets and spreads itself around. Sometimes it gets worse as other aspects of my life wiggle out of control. So far this week I've dropped two eggs (on two different days). Then I made hard boiled eggs only they ended up soft boiled - very messy to open a 'hard boiled' egg and discover rampant runniness. So to say the least, this week my 'egg juju' really sucks.

And that's not all folks - the effing Governator just decided to revive the ailing state budget by closing a lot of State Parks, which includes the State Indian Museum where I've been a docent since 1999. EFFING GOVERNOR!

Hum... I think I'm going through a wee bit of bad luck just now. Am I concerned though? Hell no. I know my luck has already turned around. A few days ago I woke to a pungent odor - happily it didn't come from me, but still, the house smelled - uh... pungent. I got up and discovered the stove was on from the previous night when I baked a chicken. 'No big deal', I thought, and turned off the oven. That evening on closer examination I discovered a tea towel, burned to a crisp, on the stove top! So, since the tea towel burned up but managed to not turn my house into a towering inferno, I can assume my luck has taken a turn for the better. Yeah, probably - I haven't dropped any eggs in days.