GUNG HAY FAT CHOY!

Today is the first day of The Year of the Rabbit, part of the Chinese zodiak. Here’s what that means to get born in a rabbit year, as I did. You are supposed to be: Gracious, good friend, kind, sensitive, soft-spoken, amiable, elegant, reserved, cautious, artistic, thorough, tender, self-assured, shy, astute, compassionate, lucky, flexible. Can be moody, detached, superficial, self-indulgent, opportunistic, stubborn. Stubborn, right, but how did elegant get in there? Must be in reference to real rabbits.

Taking all of the above with a grain of salt, this ought to be a great year for everyone, particularly rabbits. It must, in any case, be better than this past year – or come to that, better than this past week was for me. I have committed one stupid act after another. I don’t know if I’ve just passed over the edge of early senililty or if I’m so bummed by various aspects of my life that I can’t get a grip. After all, my last post was about the miraculous return of a missing chunk of cash. This week’s adventure are amazing. I violet crystal thingamabob, a sort of good luck charm. I often carry it in a pocket. When I hung my slacks up one night, I could hear the crystal fall to the closet floor. Searched – you guessed it – no damned crystal. So, for a week I kept searching the closet floor, over and over again. Finally I emptied the closet floor – which was in dire need of dusting anyway – and sure enough – no crystal. For those who read my last blog post – no, the crystal is NOT in my mouth.

 Mind mind boggling puzzles do not stop with the crystal. Two nights ago, I was getting ready for the next morning, a work day. I brewed a pot of coffee and looked around for my thermos so I could have it ready to fill next day. I could see the thermos stopper and lid in the sink, but no thermos. I checked around the kitchen – no thermos. I expanded my search to the living room and even my bedroom – where I assure you my thermos seldom goes – no damned thermos. So I went to bed that night, puzzled over what happened to it. Next morning I repeated my search – no thermos. That night I got home from work, and went into the kitchen. There, on the ledge behind the sink, not whistling an innocent tune, yet miraculously reeking of sass, was the thermos. I gasped. Hadn’t I looked there like 50 times over the past 24 hours? Apparently not. Seems I may have lost what remains of my mind.

So today I was at work, and a tad annoyed. I love wearing shoes with sheepskin lining – although the experts warn against such – bite me experts! Anyway, my unstocking feet felt funny – uncomfortable, as if I were walking barefoot on pebbles. Finally I broke down and removed my right shoe and cleaned it of its odd scattering of flotsam and jetsam. Then I moved on to my left shoe – damned uncomfortable I tell you. I shook it, and out fell a certain violet crystal that evaded me at the bottom of my closet. Bugger! Geez Louise... The oncoming year of the bun-bun had better hold better things for me than just finding things I keep losing that are hidden in plain sight!