Aloha Buggahs!

Waipio Valley - where the very first Polynesians settled Hawaii

I've been in Hawaii on the ‘Big Island’ this past week and I had a ball. Was invited by Ron and Jeannie to stay with them at Ron's time share. I guess they didn’t learn anything the last time they invited me. Ron is dah nice, akamai (smart) buggah on the right, in the blue t-shirt, and the pretty wahine on the left is Jeannie (out of respect I will refrain from making any silly comments, such as, Jeannie isn't the one with long ears. Wait a sec... Bugger! )

Wagon Ride at the bottom of the Waipio Valley - Jeannie said if I put her picture on the web she'll MURDER me, so shuuuuusssh.

Anyway, you may as well open up your papaya shaped eyes and face the Hula, you’ know bro? This bolohead wahine doesn’t mean to be cranky but my flights home Friday were an all day screw-up-a-thon.

You see, Ron Jeannie and I were hanging loose on Friday morning because Ron was picking up his parents at the airport in the late afternoon and Jeannie and I did not have to be at the airport until noon. But I got all 'worry wart' and checked our flight itinerary. Our two part flight put us in Orange County airport at 9:45 pm. No worries, but the thing is that our connecting flight was departing at 9:25, which meant unless we time traveled we were going to miss our connecting flight.
I called Aloha Airlines and asked if I'd made a time-change error of judgement. Nope. Orbitz effed up the flight connection. Aloha rescheduled us, giving Jeannie and I about 50 minutes to get to the Kona airport so we could make our connecting flights, via Maui and Oahu, to Sacramento. *eep*

We raced to the airport. I dropped off Jeannie & our baggage, then raced off to return my rental car. Did not spare the shuttle driver – Giddyup & don't spare the hamsters! I got to back to Jeannie with only seconds to go the final boarding call.

Jeannie (she one tough tita no one messes wid): Damn, did you return the car to Guam?

Me: Oh,wassamattayou? I got here in a nick of time, didn't I?

Jeannie: Shut your pineapple hole, get on the damned plane...

Me: F**K! (ß-naughty word there) My backpack n' camera and zoom lens - my LIFE'S MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSIONS – I left ‘em in the rental car!

Jeannie (gave me deh big stink eye): NORMA....! (she calls me Norma when tee'd off)

Imagine a sound, me, breaking the light/sound barrier in race back into traffic to stop the shuttle bus driver.

We missed that flight and got rescheduled through Oahu to Orange County and got back in Sacto at 10:50.

The day is a buggah if you spend it in jet seats designed for size S bottoms when your bottom is 3XL. But things are good now. The Wizard of Oz is on in the background and my fireplace – the only source of heat just now, is roaring like the lion before they all find out what a cowardly pussy he is. Which reminds me of Rum who is currently yowling as to punish me for going away and leaving him alone all week.

An Iz Quality Rainbow on the road to Volcanoes National Park
Cracking open raw macadamia nuts - they taste & look like miniature coconuts

looking back up the crooked road to the Waipio Valley

Don’t think you’re off the hook from me showing photos from my vacation. There will me more. BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Big Fuzzy Girly Ones

Rum-kitty - my generally abscentee cat, came in tonight and made himself comfortable on the carpet, which made me distinctly un-comfortable. For several months now, Mr. Rum-Kitty has headed for the hills whenever I get out the flea treatment stuff. However, tonight, watching him snoozing contentedly as I imagined a 'leap' of fleas, dancing off of him and into the carpet, I realized I had to do something, you know; like grown a pair.

So, feeling up for the challenge, I snuck over & locked the patio door. Got out the Front Line flea treatment and faced my own personal cowardly ginger lion. The boy took one look at me with the Frontline and raced away from me, screaming like the little sissy girly neutered kitty he is.

MEOWWWWWW!

Up and down the hallway he raced, head hunched down pathetically, me gallumphing behind him. We raced through the bedrooms.

MEOOOOOWWWWWWL!

We circled the kitchen & living room. I was in Olympic medalist shape! Ok, I wasn't but I'll be damned if that kitty was going to outrun me!

MEOOOOOOWWWWWLLLLL!

Finally I cornered Rum, locking him in the bathroom. To my surprise, instead of Rummy ditching behind the toilet, he crouched into a pitiful little lump of horrified kitty. I think he'd decided if , in fact, I was going to chop off his head, he might as well get it over with quickly. So throughly dejected, Rum held still as I gently applied the flea stuff to the back of his furry neck. I opened the bathroom and patio doors and I retreated to the couch.

In a couple of minutes, crawling like he'd been hit with a brick, Rum crept into the livingroom and struck a pose above below the television.

THIS is what a cheesed off kitty looks like. I flung kitty treats at him and begrudgingly he ate them.

Now, unlike Rummy, I have a big girly pair. Hear the fleas die, hear me roar!

The miracle of SWA/Flight 2491

Sonny Bono NWR at the Salton Sea
I’m just back from a three-day conference in San Diego. Monday was my day off so I flew down, then headed out to the Salton Sea; a sort of woebegone accidental super-saline lake, normally hot and oh-so-stinky. It being November I expected the weather at the sea to be cool with wafting winter winds of lavender scents. Nope. Still stinky.

Course, if there are birds to stare at, stinky is ok . Took the scenic route from San Diego passing Pine Valley & other places I loved as a teen. Those places now seem so thoroughly unfamiliar. A three hour drive got me to the Sonny Bono National Wildlife Refuge. Sort of sad that Bozo Bono wanted to be remembered for his efforts to save the but all I can think of when I see his name is him careening downhill over a snowy slope towards a pine tree.


Gambel's 'desert' Quail

Cooperative Gamble's Quail Hen

Desert Cottontail - is the bun-bun adorable or what?
So Monday was the wildlife refuge and the remainder of the week I squeezed in a couple of great visits with my buddy Joann and her family. I haven’t seen them since we visited Yosemite last year. Joann cooked the traditional Claire's visiting dinner for me, which is stuffed pork chops (I'll spare you the long story).


Joann and Gene, posing with Gene's pet Desert Tortoise

Jenny
Later in the week Joann and I drove down to the new Tijuana Estuary National Wildlife Refuge. I turned the camera over to Joann and we shot the town up - photo wise.

Reflections at the Tijuanna NWR Visitor Center
Lawn Trotting San Diegan Marbled Godwit
So now I’ll tell you about the miracle of a sort. I boarded a jam-packed earlier flight home. Across from my aisle seat was not one but two fractious kids; a two year old and a baby. An air hostess walking down the aisle did a double take when she saw the second kid. She appologized and informed the adults that one of them would have to move to a seat in the back of the jet. The three adults looked politely at the air hostess and budged not an inch.

“But there are four of you,” insisted the air hostess, “but only three sources of air if there is an emergency and this plane is going down. The toddler boy, who was standing in front of his seated mother was pounding on the back of the seat in front of him chattering like the little monkey he was. The adults still smiled indulgently at the air hostess, still unmoved - literally.

Now two air hostesses stood over the three adults explaining how the plane wasn’t going anywhere until there were only three people in the row. It was a showdown and the adults were adamant – they weren’t moving.

I tapped the stewardess on the shoulder.

“No problem. He can have my seat.”

Claire’s motive: Get me the hell back to Sacramento with all due speed! The stewardesses, and less so the 3 adults were thrilled.

“Sir, you can sit right across from your wife, daughter and grandchildren!

I, the wonderful woman in question, moved. Twenty minutes later, when asked, I asked for a sparkling water.

The air hostess winked. “You deserve a reward. Anything other beverage that might suit you?”

Things were looking up!

“Uh… maybe a dark beer?”

“Oh,” she said sadly, “we haven't any dark beer. Perhaps you would like a nice cup of coffee - with some Bailey’s Irish Cream?”

How's that for a miracle?

Joann's Best Shot