Kerfuffle-to-Go: Aloha Buggahs!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Aloha Buggahs!

Waipio Valley - where the very first Polynesians settled Hawaii

I've been in Hawaii on the ‘Big Island’ this past week and I had a ball. Was invited by Ron and Jeannie to stay with them at Ron's time share. I guess they didn’t learn anything the last time they invited me. Ron is dah nice, akamai (smart) buggah on the right, in the blue t-shirt, and the pretty wahine on the left is Jeannie (out of respect I will refrain from making any silly comments, such as, Jeannie isn't the one with long ears. Wait a sec... Bugger! )

Wagon Ride at the bottom of the Waipio Valley - Jeannie said if I put her picture on the web she'll MURDER me, so shuuuuusssh.

Anyway, you may as well open up your papaya shaped eyes and face the Hula, you’ know bro? This bolohead wahine doesn’t mean to be cranky but my flights home Friday were an all day screw-up-a-thon.

You see, Ron Jeannie and I were hanging loose on Friday morning because Ron was picking up his parents at the airport in the late afternoon and Jeannie and I did not have to be at the airport until noon. But I got all 'worry wart' and checked our flight itinerary. Our two part flight put us in Orange County airport at 9:45 pm. No worries, but the thing is that our connecting flight was departing at 9:25, which meant unless we time traveled we were going to miss our connecting flight.
I called Aloha Airlines and asked if I'd made a time-change error of judgement. Nope. Orbitz effed up the flight connection. Aloha rescheduled us, giving Jeannie and I about 50 minutes to get to the Kona airport so we could make our connecting flights, via Maui and Oahu, to Sacramento. *eep*

We raced to the airport. I dropped off Jeannie & our baggage, then raced off to return my rental car. Did not spare the shuttle driver – Giddyup & don't spare the hamsters! I got to back to Jeannie with only seconds to go the final boarding call.

Jeannie (she one tough tita no one messes wid): Damn, did you return the car to Guam?

Me: Oh,wassamattayou? I got here in a nick of time, didn't I?

Jeannie: Shut your pineapple hole, get on the damned plane...

Me: F**K! (ß-naughty word there) My backpack n' camera and zoom lens - my LIFE'S MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSIONS – I left ‘em in the rental car!

Jeannie (gave me deh big stink eye): NORMA....! (she calls me Norma when tee'd off)

Imagine a sound, me, breaking the light/sound barrier in race back into traffic to stop the shuttle bus driver.

We missed that flight and got rescheduled through Oahu to Orange County and got back in Sacto at 10:50.

The day is a buggah if you spend it in jet seats designed for size S bottoms when your bottom is 3XL. But things are good now. The Wizard of Oz is on in the background and my fireplace – the only source of heat just now, is roaring like the lion before they all find out what a cowardly pussy he is. Which reminds me of Rum who is currently yowling as to punish me for going away and leaving him alone all week.