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Thursday, November 26, 2009

Fancy a Side of Irony with that Drumstick?

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm soon to be off to Rick & Mommy Nancy's for Thanksgiving din-din here in Sacramento. Meanwhile, I'm here at home. There is a crackle log on the fire and I was just enjoying a cosmic joke on myself. It was back in October, you see, that I posted a week's worth of 'spooky shite'. As it happens, Thanksgiving is here and still I'm mulling over the issues that week brought to mind. Many of those so called 'spooky issues' tie in so well with the subtitle of my blog here; Claire's Sit-com Life.

Really, let me explain. I've had animal totems for ages. Totems, spirit guides, power animals - think of them as critters with a lesson for you. I'm going to tell you about my three main totems and how they totally fit in with the Sit-com I've always thought my life to be.

My first totem ever didn't exactly come to me in a dream - at least not a dream I can remember. When I was a first grader. My teacher told my mother there was something wrong with me. All I ever drew at crayon time was Red Foxes. Why? How the heck should I know? I just loved 'Foxy the Fox', as I called my totem. I don't recall if I dremt of foxes, or whatever, but they were close to my heart, pretty much on day one, 6 AM.

My next totem, came to me in a dream when I was 9 or 10 years or so, living in the Bronx. I dreamt I was walking to school and a waterfall sprang out from under the sidewalk by an empty lot. I fell hundreds of feet into a pond below and when I swam to the surface; I was a beaver. Great dream. I used to draw little comic book stories of myself as a beaver named 'Ronnie' (named for Rock n' Roll's 4 Seasons song, as I recall). I didn't realize that beaver dream was a totem dream until I was forty-something, but better late than never. From that early time thought I always thought of beavers as being very special to me.

My inch tall, toy Beaver: threadbare
via 40+ years of 'Velveteen Rabbit' love

When I did know my 'favorite' animals for what they were - totems, I had an amazing revelation; both totems are euphemisms for female sexuality. You know - a hot woman is a 'fox', and a beaver is... okay, moving right along... I decided that my two main totems were so sexual, and myself being on the verge of the asexuality of a single-celled yeast, had to be nothing more than a bizarre, and embarrassing coincidence.

Now my third totem - not my only totem, I've got loads of them, but the only totem other than Beaver, to come to me in a dream/vision; the Mountain Lion that appeared in my bedroom.

Recently acquired Mountain Lion pendant with Peridot eyes

Now here's my point. Last Monday, it dawned on me rather suddenly, that a mountain lion is also called painter, panther and yes, cougar. Guess what folks! Cougar is a new, and recently coined and accepted euphemism for female sexuality, that is, an older woman, who 'preys on' younger men.


My Trilogy of Totems all contain a playful innuendo of female sexuality, and me here, damned near a vestial virgin. Now, is that not a prime example of my life having a distinctive Sit-com flare? Damn. Honestly, when I first realized this on Monday I more or less sat down and wrote a letter asking a wiser friend her take on it, then I journaled the whole thing and finally, I've come to the conclusion it all just proves my point. My life is a Sit-com of the non-televised sort, and that is OK with me. Let the polite sniggering begin!


  1. Claire, this is too funny. I haven't studied too much on my potential animal totems, so I can keep any comments to myself, but your trio are just that - a perfect sub-plot to your Sit-Com Life. Enjoy your Turkey Day, my dear! Judith, The Auld Girl

  2. I was wondering where one might come across such a totem?

  3. Do you mean how does one get a totem, or how does one get that Mountain Lion necklace?