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Baltimore by the Sea

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Ugly Santa, Pretty Tale

Funny how things so often work out for the better.

Last Saturday night I attended a crab feed & participated in the charity raffle. Lucky me (= sarcasm) I won a ridiculously hideous wooden wind whirligig Santa. He was decked out with wind-whirling Christmas trees and as a result of aging shellac – old Santa stood on yellow snow. No lie. YELLOW SNOW! In addition to pee-pee Santa I also won a Mr. Potato Head toy set. You thought that ancient toy had ceased to exist with the dawning of the Age of Aquarius? So did I.

Eventually I got over the shock that I won none of the really cool raffle prizes – gift certificates for Nordstrom’s and Orchard Garden Supplies, 2 lb boxes of See’s Chocolates, pots of flowering hydrangeas, etc. Eventually it occured to me I can put aside Mr Potato Head for next year’s Christmas toy drive. Hurrah! Come 2007, Mr Potato Head will make some needy child happy. Further it occured to me the dreadfully-hideous-Santa would make a 'lovely' white elephant gift for a little end-of-6-week--frustration-class at Curves, which was held last night. Note: class was frustrating because after the 6 weeks I've had no net loss and oy am I pissy about it!

So last night after preparing a nice though boring green salad and after dumping poor Sandy Claws into a gold gift bag with pretty red tissue I went off to our potluck/white elephant gift grab at Curves.

Is it ironic for a weight loss center to host a food fest?

Anyway, each of us drew playing cards to set the order in which we chose our white elephant gifts. I was number three and I picked a small & plain bag that contained a not-too-awful burgundy scarf. As allowed, someone nabbed the scarf (hurrah!). That gave me a second shot at choosing either a new gift or nabbing someone else’s prize, which I did. I took someone else's very lovely, prettily wrapped gift basket. The basket was actually a small galvanized tub in which I discovered lavender shower gel and lotion, a nice scrubby sponge thingie, a massage brush and a perfectly lovely hand mirror. Even the ribbon it was tied up with was a treat. For the charitable among you, the lady whose tub I nabbed next chose a nice big box and got a gift wicker basket filled with cookies, chocolates and such which honestly - I have no use for and if you believe that I have a lovely golden gated bridge to sell you - its in San Francisco. You'd like it.

So, it turns out my hideous Santa (which ended up being the ONLY white elephant present left un-picked) went off to a storage closet somewhere and I got a really lovely present in exchange for him. I thought white elephant gifts were supposed to be perfectly ghastly but all the gifts last night were lovely - except for the pissy Santa. Thank heavens no one was stuck with him. There - a suitably happy ending for all, unless you are a pissy Santa stuck in the broom closet.

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