Monokini is a crescent shaped volcano crater, off Maui, popular with divers
The gang of 8 has split off a couple of day's separate adventures. Ron, Steve, Stephie and their kids are off for a a ride on the notoriously twisty-windy road to Hana. Meanwhile, yesterday Jeannie, Jordan and I went to the Maui Theater to see the highly entertaining 'Ulalena, the theatrical telling of the History and lore of the Hawaiian islands. The today the mini gang of 3 lit out on a Snorkel Bob boat to Monokini and Turtle Town.
Well, one of us enjoyed boating around.
All I expected was to get out and enjoy some snorkeling in prime reef areas. On the way to Monokini however, an enticing proposition was offered up, as the boat offered 'Snuba' diving. Huh? Well, as Jeannie who has done it in the past explained to me, Snuba is diving with an oxygen tank that is at the surface of the water on a raft. The diver attaches to the tank via a long air hose. Unlike Scuba, there is no need for scuba certification. I had no hesitation to try it. The cost was as much as the amount we'd already spent for the boat trip itself, but for me it was like being a cat offered catnip. I am all about being underwater. Jeannie and Jordan opted to stick with some scenic snorkeling.
Prior to the Snuba dive, all participants heard to a short talk on how to Snuba & live to tell the tale. The most emphasized point was to move - slowly, and at that, I am a PRO. Our diving master got us each outfitted with hefty weight belts. I had to have quite a bit of weight for my belt to counteract my uber-boyant fat. Our dive master - who wore regular scuba gear - even added additional weight to my belt once I was in the water. Then soon I was experiencing the joy of staying underwater as if I'd magically grown gills.
The Dive Master took photos of all his pod members Can you guess which one this is?
To begin with my ears ached, but surprisingly, that only lasted a minute or two, and as I sunk lower in the water beneath the surface, the ache vanished. Then, the only remaining difficult bit was becoming accustomed to hearing my every breath result in a cloud of noisy bubbles. Once used to the racket however, I quickly felt like I belonged. I mean, heck, I'm shaped rather like a ocean dwelling mammal, aren't I?
One of these creatures has to get to the surface to breathe in a bit... in your face Manatee!
I had my underwater camera with me and wasted about two minutes of precious battery life because I turned it on accidentally and it ran for a few minutes. Still, I got some photos that will not challenge anything you see on National Geographic.
On the upper right you can see a raft holding a scuba tank at the surface, and the hose leading down to snuba divers.
Lots of coral below and plenty of little fish for me to stare at.
And not a few BIG fishies: Pinktail Durgeon Triggerfish
The snuba dive was gently guided by our guide diver who lead us after the local sights of fishes. He told us to clue him in with hand signals if we saw anything unusual, so everyone could get a look - it was just like birding. Before I knew it, the dive was over, about 45 minutes had shot by in a flash. I could have stayed under until I actually would grow gills. After we hauled back onto the boat - which was not easy wearing massive swim fins and hauling an extra b'jillion pounds of dead weight - the boat headed back towards Maui to 'Turtle Town'.
On the way three or four Spinner Dolphins were spotted. The boat stopped so we could all watch the dazzling dolphins leaping from the water, twisting in the air, seemingly just for the joy of it. I didn't manage any photos of the dolphins, they were too fast. When the dolphins headed off, we continued on the way to the Turtle Town site and sure enough a couple of turtles were spotted at the surface.
Not the best picture, but trust me, that's a Hawaiian Green Turtle or 'Honu'.
There was a second chance to Snuba dive and I went for it again. This time it was only myself and a twenty-something year old girl that took the bait, so to speak. Soon I was back beneath the surface.
Bluespine Unicornfish, politely staring at me
A school of Unicornfish moving along
Turtle Town lived up to its hype, and there were plenty of 'Honu', Hawaiian Green Turtles to be found. Here's a clip of the one that dove down and hid itself in its favorite hide-e hole.
Turtle Town lived up to its promise, several turtles swam around
Forceps Butterflyfish
Tiny little Hawaiian Pufferfish
Spotted a Trumpetfish which looks like a stick. This one below is brown, the first of that sort I've ever seen. All I've seen previously are banana yellow. They apparently take on the color of whatever fish they've preyed on, so they can blend in and catch 'em by surprise.
Trumpetfish, its face on the left, spotty tail on the right
And the Humu-humu-nuka-nuka'apu'a'a' swam by...
Picasso Triggerfish, or Humuhumunukanuka'apua'a, the Hawaii state fish
Can't imagine more fun than scooting along underwater. I have wanted a chance to breath underwater via an oxygen tank since days, long ago, watching Jacques Cousteau on National Geographic specials and the adventures of Bond in You Only Live Twice. It was great getting a chance to try it for myself with no worries of Spectre coming to blow me out of the water. Can do that for myself, thankyouverymuch!
At Old Lahaina Luau, most giving 'Shaka' hand signal, left to right
Jeffery, v. nice lady, Jordan and Jeannie
Every trip to Hawaii, by law, must include a Luau. OK, there is no such law, but there ought to be, especially since we already abide by it. This trip the error was made to let me make our luau reservations. I booked us at The Old Lahaina Luau. The gang was horrified I chose ground seating on cushions with a low table, instead of the usual table and chairs. I was so jazzed: ground seating just like on all those '50s TV shows I watched before Hawaii was a state. Hurrah, a dream come true! After all, being the oldest I figured if I am willing to sit hours on this old tush, they can do it too.
Fresh Tuberoses
But let me back up a bit. As we arrived and picked up our tickets, we were immediately offered fragrant Tuberose flowers from a basket. Mine immediately went behind my right ear which in Hawaii means I'm 'available', though for what I'm not sure. If you're married you put your flower over the ear on the side you wear your wedding ring: easy peasy.
A miracle: as we entered the grounds a real flower lei was dropped upon each of our necks. GAK! Most luaus give out shell leis - shell leis are cool, but they can't hold a candle to a fresh & fragrant flower lei resting on your shoulders. Am totally awestruck by this 2nd dream come true. I wasn't quite recovered from my joy when a handsome sarong clad bit of man-candy smiled at our group. He offered us refreshment: Mai Tais (virgin for the kiddies), POG (Passion - Orange - Guava nectar) or water, & such, all with orchid flowers or wedges of pineapple floating in them. I had to have a Mai Tai if not for yet another flower to admire.
Ron took this great picture of 'the gang'
In the photo above, you see right to left, Jeannie, Jordan, Stephie in Blue dress with little Gracie, and behind her is her brother Jeffery. In the rear is Steve in white top & shorts and a v. happy 'moi'. The first table behind us with a pineapple and poofy cushions to sit upon, was all ours for the night.
Ron, Jeannie and grand-baby Gracie
Sipping our exotic drinks, we had about an hour before the meal. So we all wandered about and I discovered there were HULA LESSONS. I mean, dream three come true! Feeling I was in dreamland, I picked up a pair of the bamboo rhythm sticks from the little lawn, and I soon I swayed to island breezes. Always wanted a Hula lesson while actually in Hawaii, and although I endlessly searched on line, none were offered. Just as the lesson began, I'd looked around to see if Jeannie or someone could film my lesson but no one was in sight. Still, I was sooo happy, I had to fight back happy tears. You ever had to dance in public while stifling back tears of joy? At the dance's end, Ron tapped me on the shoulder. "So... would you be upset if someone videoed your lesson?" He looked just guilty enough to confirm it was he who did the filming. Rampant joy ensued...
Teary & happy fat lady enjoying a Hula Lesson on freakn' Maui - YAHOO!
The dug out Kalua Pua'a from the Imu
So those were the 3 miracles of the Old Laihana Luau. Mind, the remainder of the Luau, was pretty great.
We watched the opening of the imu - the in ground oven - and the removal of the slow roasted pig.
The Luau food was... sorry I use this word so much, must make note-to-self to use thesaurus - awesome! I've been to three other luaus thus far and this one, in my opinion had the best food. I say that as it was, authentic and as tasty as one could hope for. OK, except for the poi which did reliably taste like wall paper paste, but I always eat it anyway, I mean, heck, I'm in Hawaii, right? There was Pork Laulau (pork in banana leaves), Lomi-Lomi Salmon, Ahi Pokie (spicy raw tuna salad), taro salad, Pohole Salad (ferns, Maui onions & tomatoes) and of course the Kalua Pua'a (the pork from the imu). Loads of other tasty dishes as well, followed by a plate of desserts just for our table shown on the right here. The white cakes shown on the far left are pudding-ish coconut milk squares called Haupia while my favorite of the lot, on the opposite far right - almost too dark to see - are Hawaiian Chocolate Chili Pepper Brownies. The cookies and cakes in the middle were pretty yummy too.
When we were done filling our faces it was time for the show to begin. I held my iPhone up for the recording, making sure to kept my eyes on the dancers, not the screen - you know, live in the moment. I seem to have done better than I expected and this video below is the result. Starts out solemn Hula, then progresses to some of the best Tahitian dancing I've ever had the pleasure to view. Towards the end they use the bamboo dance sticks that I got to use in my Hula lesson, and it all ends with what else, but Aloha Oe, written by the great Queen Liliʻuokalani.
Hawaiian Super Men
When the hoopla, dancing and encouraging shrieks of joy ended, it was suddenly time for us to leave. No! Can't we stay? *puppy eyes*
Before leaving there were lots of photos taken with stars from the shows. Jeffery and Jordan had a chance to show they were Hawaiian Superman ala Iggy.
A fun ending to a fantastic evening.
Gracie gets her pose with the nice man
Home? Shoot... I'm staying!
Oh, but before we were sent on our way, there was a small loaf of banana bread for each and every one of us, including the kids. Can you believe that? I mean, it was as if each of us suddenly knew the joy of having a sweet Hawaiian granny who wasn't sending us on the road home without a bit of sweet to remind us of our Maui evening of dreams come true.
Honolua Bay on Maui - the island of Lanai visible in the distance
We pulled up to Honolua Bay, and the island gods were with us, we got the last two possible parking spots. Now, Jeannie volunteered to stay on shore and watch baby Gracie. Hum... suspected Jeannie might have something up her sleeve. It was fun hiking through a jungle of tall trees, filled with the sound of exotic birds - that magically managed to stay completely out of view - to the beach.
Trail down to the beach
First thing I noticed on the beach is there were loads of chickens - and chicks.
"So... like me and my peeps can't enjoy a nice beach, b*tch?"
This shameless rooster begged for some of the man's sandwich and got some
Soon we were hauling into the surf, which was ROUGH. There were loads of rocks and I no sooner got into the water than my upper feet began to ache - what the....? I peeled off one swim fin and dislodged the sand that got in them on the shore. No difference in the pain level! So I pulled off the fins again and found - the plastic of the fins had a sharp nodule of plastic built in! It was far too painful to use my right foot to paddle, so I was in effect a one legged snorkeler. Well... I wanted adventure, didn't I?
The water was churning and quite murky. Lots of reef with coral and urchins to stare at and at first it seemed, not many fish.
School of little Bluestripe Snappers seen through rough waters
Close-up of a Blue-striped Snapper
Every once in a bit I'd raise my head up and check how far off I was from shore. It was when I got near the off shore tourist boats I decided I'd better head back to shore. With only one foot to paddle with I headed back, and although at first I thought I was going to be a drowning statistic, I made it back to shore, peeled off my stupid swim fins and flung them to shore. Now the most difficult part of snorkeling was at hand: getting-the-EFF out of the water. Every attempt to stand, was met with a buffeting from incoming waves. Over and over I was knocked down. Lying on my side with every fall, the ocean waves dragged me over the rough grit of the off shore substrate. Then for an added bit of humility, the strong pull of an outgoing wave, pulled my over-sized shorts down to my ankles! I was heartily glad for the underpants under my shorts, the only thing keeping 'the moon' from shining mid-day on this Maui beach. I scrambled to pull my shorts up while the Jeannie - and I now know why she decided on baby-sitting over snorkeling - kindly tossed my water slippers to me: Thank you Jeannie!
How much grit, polished volcanic glass and bark was buffeting along the shore? Check this out!
Hum... if only under normal circumstances I could take off my shorts and shed ten pounds!
That grit rained in the shower when I doffed my shorts. And you ought to have seen the pile from my my shorts and t-shirt when I put them in the washing machine. Yikes!
Now the horrid news: post snorkeling, I could not open my underwater camera to access the flash disk or so I could recharge the battery - Aarrrggghhh! How can the latch of a camera that promises it is waterproof, shock proof from 6 ft and dust proof in a whirlwind, jam itself shut? I passed the camera on to Ron and Steve and although Steve managed to get some grit out of the lock, none of us could get the camera open. No more underwater photos, and I'll have to depend on my iPhone for above the water shots, and no more underwater photos. ARRRRRRRRHHHHHH!
