Happy Christmas! BWWWAAACK!

Happy Christmas to one and all! This morning the girls got up all grumpy and disheveled. So I told them Santa had visited.

What'd Santa bring us?
I knew what they got of course - whole fat cottage cheese to help ward off our frozen Sacto nights - Holiday red Hawthorn Berries, and fresh, yummy Slugs!

Oh! Could that be...

Good Heavens! Just what we wanted! Nom, nom, nom....

Rum Kitty wanted to know what Santa brought him. Rum has gone a bit soft under his fuzzy ears - he has totally lost his wits. He now climbs onto the dining room table to look around - FORBIDDEN! Santa gave Rum what he needed this morning - a reprieve from the wraith of Claire.

Poor old Rum. So old he forgets he's not to climb on things, and forgets to go outside to pee, and now, amazingly, he forgets to be afraid of me. So now in his dotage, he is a old farty cat I can hold on my lap, stroke, brush and coo over him. Really - isn't that just the best Christmas present for the two of us?

Poor Farty old Rum-kitty

Belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY wishes

For my beloved friends/family who celebrate their birthdays in December and who did not receive timely greetings and best wishes from me because I screwed up all of 2010 birthday-wise (having misplaced/lost my master list of everyone's birthdays).

You have my most sincere apologies and little Salsa Dog below dances for you. We both hope, you are so taken by her puppy ernest cha-cha-chas that you forget to remember that Claire forgot. Cha Cha Cha!

OK, this is weird...

For reasons I'm not going to detail, today I took a spirometry, or lung, air-capacity test. The test consists of sucking in as much oxygen as one can hold, then rapidly & explosively exhaling. I've had the test in the past for asthma - no big deal. So I expected this to go today simularly uneventful. The test used a way-fancy computer with monitor that showed a little sail boat. The technician that gave me the test, explained that as I exhaled the little sailboat would drift across the monitor, left to right; no big whoop.

So, after twice explaining to me how I was to breathe and what to expect and such it was time for me to give it a go. 'Fine!', I thought, 'let's get this over with.'

So... breathe in, that's it Ms. Miller, breathe in again, OK, again.... OK... 1, 2, 3 EXHALE!
EXHALE! EXHALE! EXH...!

I could hear a voice, vaguely in the distance, but didn't know what was being said. Slowly my mind emerged from a fog and I opened my eyes to see some person or the other, some woman, who was messing with a machine and nattering on. Where the HELL was I? Where am I? What the.... HOLY CRAP! I PASSED OUT!

I was flabbergasted. I've never passed out before in my life. Thank heavens I was in a chair. The technician turned and noticed me, asking if I was OK.

"No! I... I fainted! I've never done that before in my life!"

The technician didn't seem all that surprised, after all, she had told me I would take the test sitting because she'd had a patient that passed out and fell down.

So, she told me the machine wasn't quite working right and we'd give it another go, or two as necessary.

I wanted to run screaming. Really. I did. You know, I hear all the time about kids doing things like inhaling glue, or taking other people's medications for a buzz, but let me tell you, that isn't me. I do NOT like feeling buzzed from alcohol or anything else, and I sure as hell don't like waking up not having a clue where I am... shite!

Still, I felt rather coerced into giving it another go. So there were the three deep inhalations... one sharp, almost violent exhalation...

....vaguely I could hear a voice, and the waves by the shores of Narnia were loud. I drifted... I opened my eyes... where was I? Who were these people.... FECKING A! I passed out again!

I was again, totally rattled and now feeling frightened. The technician decided to take me to the doctor for the rest of my physical and said we could complete the lung capacity test afterwards.

Long story short. After my physical exam I told the doctor, a lady doctor, that I'd passed out twice and did NOT like it. Happily, she told me that was enough for one day and she dismissed me from re-doing the lung capacity test.

So... I'm totally freaked by today's activities. I will never, and I mean never, ever take another lung capacity test, and I don't care what the feck it means job-wise. I am never going to pass out again for the rest of my life, not as long as there is... you know it's coming.... get ready for it.. not as long as there is breath left in my body.