%$#@!!!!

Rum is a very clever kitty. I mean, he's wild as a hare, but really intelligent. Several years ago, I had him locked in the house so his injured paw could rest. There was a sliding metal pane that covered the cat flap - guaranteed to lock your pet in or out. Rum, when released from the back room, sat in front the pet flap, staring at it. Then quickly, he put a paw under the metal sheet, expertly flicked it up, as if he'd been doing such a thing for decades, then he raced through the opening before the metal sheet could guillotine his tail. It took that kitty-bugger 20 seconds to figure out how escape through a cat flap that was guaranteed to thwart your pet.

On to new kitty challenges.

The kitty flap is long gone. Now there is a pair of French doors. Rum has to 'ask' to get in. He grabs the screen with one paw and whacks it against the glass door. I had company one day who asked, 'who's that knocking to get in your back door?'

Well hell, it's just the damned cat telling me to get a move on, he wants IN.

Over time, Rum's claws have torn up the screen door. So, the horse being already stolen so-to-speak, I decided to protect the last few strands of screening (yes, I am much slower to catch on than Rum is). I used binder clips to hold a sheet of thick plastic over the door.

"Ah ha!" I grumbled. "Let's see you deal with THAT Mr. Rum-kitty." Now the little hairball wouldn't pound on the door because he could not get at the screen behind the plastic sheet.

Tonight I came home; plastic screen lying flat on the back porch, binder pins flung far and wide. So - what am I to think? That some complete stranger came round the back, tore down the plastic and threw the binder pins around? Or did Rum have a kitty 'Ah ha' moment, stuff his paws under the plastic and pull hard, making binder ricochet off the porch steps.

I'm hoping it was an inept burglar.

Try and lock ME out... %^*$%&.